My cousin had a layover for a few hours at the airort I went out to visit him and take him to dinner. He good me all schlockered up, enought that I probablly shouldn't have driven home. As soon as I got home, and the emptyness of the house reached me, I had a few more drinks. Since when did T.V. become so vacuous and vapid? Now I am bringing my drunken rambling to the world.
CoyoteMike, never fear, everyone will be back monday or tuesday. Essy, Superkate and Beaky all meet up in Boston for rubics cubesque tyrsts. Yeah, more fun passing me by.
I don't know if this counts as a sexual fanasy, but I pop a tent just thinking about it. As you all know I love art. I deeply love art. My family has once or twice offered to take me to europe to see the vatican, the Louve, Musee D'Orday, the National Gallery, The Metropolitian Museum in New Your, the the best egyptian collections (which are oddly located n Germany). I don't want to go with them. Seeing with my own eyes the Sistine Chapel, stading next to a Marisol, sharing the same room with the Elgin Marbels, standing under the St.Peter's dome, ambulating the gardens of Versilles, all these things will be religious expirences for me. I will melt to the floor like Bernini's St Theresa by their beuty. Part of the vision of visiting is to share this outer body expericence of beuty with someone, well more then just family, my soul mate if you'll allow mw to sound like Nora Roberts. It's something I have too do in my lifetime to complete my experience. I don't wnt to do that with just anyone. I want somewhere there who understand how much this is meaning to me, and is honored to be there at my momnet.
I want to be there for that tperson at there moment. Even if it's there baseball team at the world serires, I want to be honored that someone else included me in their moment with the divine.
God damn that four letter "L" word. I've only brifely known ir twice. Once with some troglydyte in the mountians , and now a boy here in Denver. I now an taking stock in the first instance to decide if it was really L, or intenses infatuation. I think I have more then just infatuation/prurient/lust/amicable friends. This really scares me. Why couldn't I find this person in a year from now? I'm not ready for a relationship,I live with my parents, I don't support myslef, I'm way busy with school work. Why couldn't this have come at a more convient time? but I don't want to not have him in some way in my life anymore. I love being just around him. Talking to him, looking at him.
Ok, so here the alchoul part. Last night I was irritated with him, and another boy had been asking me out for a while. I met this guy through a mutual college freind. By all regards D is hot. I went out for drinks with him. we kissed . The entire time I was dissapointed however that it wans't robert. He didn't kiss like R. D wanted to take things further,and to be honost it enticed me, but The thought of doing it without R seemed to sad. It's almost a mintures version of the louve, I don't want to do something awesome without. God. I had a perfect chance to get laid, and I din't. R and I haven't even disscussed what we are. So it wasn't like I was cheating. I wish I knew what R and I are. I wish we talked more often. Ok, I think I'm offically psycho. And no, for enquireing mines, I am not, have not canvassed him (I know where you were gonna go Mikey)