I woke up today deeply trenched in sickness. I think I have cold that's been aggravated by smoking and drinking last night. I feel all schelcky (my own Yiddish inspired word) and all I all I want to do is wrap myself up in a blanket and drink hot herbal teas.
Two weeks of student teaching down. I haven't been doing a good job recording my experiences. I've just been so tired and I've been whining to anyone who will hear me about my lethargy. I have a lot of energy when I wake up. I get an adrenaline rush during the day when I'm teaching, but I come home at night and plop. I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything. I think it's because I'm tired of talking at the end of the day. I'm also tired of standing. I need to figure out how to have a social life at night. I don’t want to loose my friends just to make a living. I'm wondering if my answer lies in exercise. Routine exercise, not my once now, once on next Thursday, and oh, this movie to good to exercise now thing that is my current practice.

I've been struggling to find the right voice to use in the classroom. Myrna, my cooperating teacher has a voice that is filled with authority. She doesn’t ask the students to do anything, she tells them in a voice that that says she expects them to do it, or else. I have to stop myself from phrasing instructions like questions. “Please be quiet. Please clean your paint brushes. Please don’t do that.”
I voice commands, but I think the tone sounds like I'm asking, pleading, or beseeching the students to do something. “I beseech thee dear students, clean up thine own bodily fluids.”
I'm also trying to get a loud voice that, while not yelling, can still be heard in a loud room, and will not make my voice horse at the end of the day. Some days I’ve yelled so much to get attention that speaking is painful by 3:00.

Time goes by quickly in the classroom. Some of the other student teachers have already hit a point where they have gotten angry at a student. I only see a group a students for a 40 min rotations, for three days, and then I won't see them for another 6 days while they go to music and P.E. In a forty minute class, 5-8 minutes is spent cleaning up and the end of the period, another 5 at the begining while students find their seat and talk. 10-15minutes are set aside for instructions and getting material out to work with. By the time a I get irritated with any student or class, there's only about 20min more of class, and I probably won't see them for a week and half until the next rotation. I never fell like I’m getting to know any of the students because my time with them is so brief. I see a total of 457 students over a week and a half. I know a few of there names. I have a few ADD and ADHD students whom I do know their name. Myrna challenged me to get to know those students the best, to figure out what their individual strengths are and what are their triggers. While I think I that I do need to spend time with these students, what about the other students? Especially the bright or very creative students? I think it's unfair that most my attention will be spent on trouble makers rather then the one who need further challenge.
The school I'm currently at houses to special programs. CHALLENGE (which is an acronym, but I know not what for) and SLIC (severely limited intellectual capabilities). The CHALLENGE students are physically handicapped and often have multiple diagnoses like Fragile X, spin bifida, and the like. The SLIC students can walk, go to the bathroom and eat by them selves, but are developmentally years behind their peers. It's been hard getting use to miniature wheel chairs, walkers and medically devises in the classroom. The students are nice and for the most part easy going, but it is hard to incorporate them into a regular class. Plus, I never thought my job was going to include cleaning up drool and wiping feces off the table. Plus, I'm really embarrassed to admit this, some of the students have such odd deformations that I have to tell myself "don't stare."
Last week I had an incident that sent me to the principal’s office. I was reading off names on a seating chart I missed pronounced one student's name. The other students started to tease this student, and he replied by calling all the kids who were teasing him n-gg-r. He then went over to a girl sitting near him and punched her in the jowls. All of this happened before I even had a chance to finish reading the class names. The next week and a half I spent after school filling out forms, conferencing with the principal, sitting in a conference with groups of parents, and completing follow up paperwork and a conference with the principal.
I really like Myrna, but don't always see eye to eye, and that means I have to bite my tongue. I always have to remember I'm a guest in her classroom, and that sucks after a while. This weeks she will begin Chemo Therapy, so all her help and input into the classroom will be gone. I will still be getting her coffee and donuts in the morning.
All in all though, when I start in the morning and get that little bit of adrenaline that takes my through the day is a lot of fun. I love being in the classroom, I love talking and doing things about art. I love how I’m never bored because things are always changing and new.